National end the "R" word day

I read a very moving blog today about putting an end to the "R" word, and have decided to share my story - or, rather, my son's story. Noah is a 3 1/2 year old little boy who has been diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. And, unfortunately, that is all that some people see when they look at my son. But, you see, he is so much more than that! He is more than just his physical condition, and he is more than a medical diagnosis. He is a person, a son, a big brother, a full-time student, and a part-time comedian. He is also my hero.

When he was born, I had no idea that there was anything extraordinary about my little man. He seemed so perfectly 'normal,' as people say, but at a year old, he still was not sitting up on his own, could only do a modified army crawl, and would not hold his own bottle. At first, I attributed these things to a spoiled little boy, who was enjoying the good life by being catered to and showered with affection by those who love him most, but eventually I had to wake up, take him to a doctor, and get some answers to questions that at the time were very painful to ask.

I found out the summer after his 1st birthday that Noah has diffused white matter deficiency, which in layman's terms means that the white matter between the two lobes of his brain never fully developed. This very shocking visit with a pediatric neurologist left me very confused and feeling very alone. I still had a ton of questions, but at that time, the only thing I could really focus on was that my little man was not like other kids, and probably never would be. That's a hard thing for a mother to have to deal with, let alone a single mother with a father who is in and out of his life. I felt like I had the weight of the whole world on my shoulders, which I know is crazy, because as time went on, I grew to understand how truly amazing Noah really is.

Since that initial visit and, what at that time, seemed to be one of the hardest days of my life, I have learned so much from my son and his peers. He taught me to grow up, because at 24 years old, when I had Noah, I would have his dad's family babysit, and I still liked to party. He has taught me acceptance and love of everyone by giving me a perfect example - he doesn't know a stranger, and loves to blow kisses at ALL the ladies! He has taught me not to judge a book by its cover, or rather, a person by their looks, too. I am not talking about mere skin color, here, either, because my children are biracial, but I'm talking about homeless, handicapped, drug addicts, alcoholics, etc. You never know a person's full story until you take the time out of your day to actually make contact, and get to know them.

I say that to say this: Noah is my hero. He does more in a single day than most adults could dream of in a weeks' time. He has to work five times as hard at any physical activity or just forming coherent words than others, but he doesn't give up or get easily discouraged. He is a fighter, and he will stand up for the people he loves and cares about (and that includes the cast of the popular television show The Magic School Bus, since no one can change the channel when it's on TV!).

I hear a lot of people tell me what a great mom I am for doing all that I do for him, and for being his advocate and biggest fan, and I honestly don't think that what I do is all that spectacular. I mean, when you're given a tool that's so fantastic to work with, how can one not excel? Noah is a very bright kid, who understands complex things for a child his age, but he is often taken for granted and over-looked by the general public. People stare at him in stores, and ask rude questions of me, and I've learned to take it as just sheer ignorance on their part, and use these opportunities as teaching times. They allow me to open up a previously closed mind to a new way of thinking, and hopefully allow me to show someone that things are not always black and white.

But the one thing that I still have not learned to accept is when people are ignorant and verbally abusive to someone with a disability! I have heard several remarks toward my son, where others will use the "R" word, and I have confronted people. My son can't quite speak up for himself just yet, but when he can use his words, I will be teaching him to speak up for himself and to not let others bully him, verbally abuse him, or say things about him that just aren't true. I've even heard people use that term toward a few employees at wal-mart, and it makes me sick that adults don't know how to act. I might expect this from children who don't know better, or who are still innocent and naive in their thinking, but as adults, I would have thought that people would have learned to practice a little decency and respect.

So, as March 2nd is almost over, I would like to challenge you to spread the voice of tolerance from now on, and if you are currently using the word retarded, stop. It is just as offensive as people using racial slurs, profanity, slander, or other forms of words meant to oppress. If you hear this type of verbal abuse, speak up. Don't just sit back and let it happen. Today is national end the use of the "R" word day, but why stop there? Can't we just stop all forms of intolerance and disrespect? We all deserve to be treated like human beings, not like skin colors, disabilities, ages, religions, or demographics. I hope you will join me in this fight against verbal abuse and speak up for those who may not be able to speak up for themselves, or who may just be too intimidated.